Matthew 26:
21 And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.
22 And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?
“Is it I?” What sort of heart responds this way? Wouldn’t many of our first reactions be to look around at others for the potential for failure and fault? We know these disciples had trouble picking up some spiritual issues, still fighting as they were for the top positions in the coming kingdom. These were ambitious men. They dreamed of glory and position and power. The silence at this very meal at the time appointed for the youngest to ask the question of the head of the meal, is what prompted our Lord to take off His tunic, and don a slaves towel, and kneel before each with a pan of water, and wash their feet. None of them wanted to be the least or to serve. He, even facing his soon passion and death, ever took the opportunity to teach, to model.
Yet, we have this response from them, “is it I?” They may have been power hungry at the opportunity before them, yet they were not so proud and vain as to not know their own weaknesses. Jesus foretells that one of them would betray Him. They do not look around and squint trying to look deeply into one another’s hearts, weighing each other. Their first thought was, “Oh no, please don’t let it be me who will do this!”
They owned a sort of humility that admitted to themselves of the possibility of the most vile failures. Peter may outwardly proclaim he would die with Jesus, but here we see that he and the others had doubts about their allegiances and abilities. Save one.
Judas
Matt 26:23 And he answered and said, He that dippeth his hand with me in the dish, the same shall betray me.
24 The Son of man goeth as it is written of him: but woe unto that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! it had been good for that man if he had not been born.
25 Then Judas, which betrayed him, answered and said, Master, is it I? He said unto him, Thou hast said.
Judas knows he is the one, but he interprets himself as hero, ridding them of this impoverished and meandering seer who would feign to be a powerful political General/King to lead Israel to freedom in war. He looks around, immediately gets what is happening in the group, and feigns the same sort of committed heart that feared failing their Beloved Jesus.
Blessed are the Meek>
How do we respond when someone speaks of sinners and sins? Do we look inward and nod knowingly, do we feel inside for such things in our own hearts, do we first think, “is it I?” Or do we look through haughty eyes past our own logs around at others, as if we were above such frailties? Do we pompously pronounce down at sin, or identify humbly with sinners? Do we not know our hearts are capable of the most horrid sins?
These disciples may have been ambitious men seeking position, but they had a rare humility as well. It was this humility that afforded them the opportunity to become men capable of denying themselves the mere use of power and position in the Kingdom, choosing instead the power of the cross and a life laid down.
Ambition seems to be an inhabitant of leadership material. It was in the men Christ chose. But so is a required humility which distrusts oneself, which allows a molding and shaping to continue throughout the life of His leaders. The ambition will be quelled and subsumed if the leader will be used.
1 Timothy 3
1 This is a true saying, if a man * desire the office of a bishop, * he desireth a good work.
2 A bishop then must be . . .(a reasonable summarization of the qualifications is: molded by humility…)
Humility
There are real people on the other side of the faces we walk among. I think that was part of the genius and gentleness of Jesus- he knew what was in people's hearts. He saw the admixture of confusion and pain and struggles. I too often see superficially and myself caricaturize and minimize until I see shells on which I paint a greatly simplified sign. You’ve seen these signs hung around folks necks: Gay; Power Monger; Proud; Greedy; Unsaved; Black; Woman; Jew…, not real people.
We will be very much blessed to ever remember that we are all people; complex, wounded, struggling, hopeful, dreaming, ugly, beautiful, ruthless, noble, caring, magnificent people. We all share this, we fellow humans.
-Art
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Dayspring
Fellowship 
